we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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