i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
