I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
