Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
