there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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