Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
