something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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