Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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