I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
