I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
