Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
third nipple confirmed
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
