just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just pee around me
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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