And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
