I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
