I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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