It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
North Korea, Best Korea!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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