don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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