Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
