saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
