Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
