I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize
