There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
