I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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