I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
