Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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