just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
