your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
