This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
