Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
