If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
