I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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