Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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