Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
