He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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