i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
