we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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