I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Randomize
