When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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