so that wasnt chicken after all
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
