After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Damn victory sex feels great
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