My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
