fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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