That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
