i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
