i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
