so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
