He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
