This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
