in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
