he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
